Spurts of (Dis)Wisdom

I before E, but not after C. Except in the case of neighbor and weigh.
"How about 'Jim Nabors is way cool?'" "When's that ever going to come up?"
It's sad to think about how much I've learned about American culture from references in the Simpsons.

So judgment has no E; apparently, it never has. Judgement. Judgment. OED claims that they are variants of each other. They also seem to suggest, however, that only biblical matters can use judgement. God can have an E, why can't I? He will rain judgement on all of us...uh-oh. But little ol' me, judgment upon thee is weak without an E.

Forty has no U; never has. Suddenly letters are falling out of the Nglish Alphabt

I love elevator buttons. You exert so much power just at the push of a little yellow light. When you're in a crowd and everyone is going to the same place, only one person needs to push the button, but no. There's always this one person who insists on hitting that first floor button for himself. I'd be offended, cuz the guy is essentially telling me that he is unsatisfied by the way I push my elevator buttons, as if I had done it incorrectly. And then, he keeps on pushing the button, as if it will make the elevator go faster. Sometimes I think that people push the buttons more for a lack of anything better to do; it's a precursor to OCD. And I think I have it.